Category Archives: marriage

Feeling…uninspired

I don’t know what it is…lately, I’ve been feeling kind of…uninspired. And I’m not even sure that’s the right word for this feeling.

I feel kind of like a drone. Just going through my day to day routine. Kind of in a haze. I haven’t felt like taking pictures…probably because we haven’t really been doing anything that I feel warrants pulling out the camera.

The other day as I was uploading the “day in the life” photos from my phone, I scrolled through some others. And boy did it have me missing summer. Not that I’m complaining about the rain already…because I’m not. I love the rain actually. It had me missing more of the summer state of mind, if you will.

Everything seems more laid back in summer. It’s lighter later so I don’t feel that rush to get things done when I’m off of work. Andy is home all summer so I know that all the things around the house aren’t falling on me to be crammed in and taken care of on the weekend.

With fall comes a new school year. With a new school year comes late nights. There’s been nights where the clock strikes 8 and we’re still at the dinner table. Right after that it’s time to get Rylee to bed. Then after she’s in bed, I’m about ready to pass out because I’m so exhausted so all we do is sit on the couch and watch TV. The first couple of months of the school year are always a little rough on our family. I fully realize we do this to ourselves because eating together, at the table, as a family is so important to us, but…I miss my husband.

My work is picking up…it’s always some level of crazy but the 90 days before a product launch is always a special kind of crazy. Then throw in the fact that close to half my time is spent doing work for another job, in addition to my own, and it gets kind of overwhelming.

A more hectic schedule means a more frazzled mama and a toddler who pushes the boundaries more. And I don’t know about you, but it seems like within 5 minutes of the best part of my day {picking up Rylee and seeing her sweet smile and getting a big hug} the struggles start. What is it about that “happy hour”? I find myself constantly checking my phone to see if Andy has called to tell me he’s on his way home, then counting down the minutes until he will walk in the door and make it all better.

I don’t like feeling like this.

I guess a better word to describe all of this is overwhelmed. I’m kind of overwhelmed by life right now.

This weekend we have some fun family plans. We’re headed to our little town’s open house at the fire station then to a family friend’s birthday party. After that, we have no plans for the afternoon and I fully intend to keep it that way. Maybe we’ll go outside and pick apples off of our tree. Maybe we’ll start to decorate for Halloween. Then on Sunday Rylee and I are going to visit with my cousin who, even though she only lives across town, we rarely see. I’m really looking forward to that visit. She always puts a smile on my face. And gives good hugs. I need a good hug.

Wow…that all sounds like a big sob story. Sorry about that. Bottom line is this…it’s life. Sometimes it sucks, but I’ve got a family that loves me and a hardworking husband and a job that I love. I am blessed beyond belief. I need to remember to be thankful for my blessings…it is after all Rule #2.

And because they make me smile, here’s some of those summertime photos I was referring to…

The one I never thought I’d write

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As a relatively fit 27 year old who was doing everything “right”, I never I thought I would wake up Friday morning to something not being…right.

But I did.

So, I called and spoke to the nurse on call. Told her what was going on. She told me to take it easy. Keep my feet up. Then she told me to call and check in on Monday morning. That was that.

I stayed at work for a few hours. Unable to focus, I filled in one of my bosses about something not being quite right, and he told me to go home. Right then. So home I went. Propped my feet up on the couch and slept the afternoon away. Andy picked Ry up that night. He made us dinner. He did the dishes. I stayed off my feet. Something still wasn’t quite right.

And, I guess when you know, you know, because I awoke from a dead sleep at 1 AM and I knew.

At 7 weeks, 4 days pregnant, I was having a miscarriage.

I tried to go back to sleep. For the rest of the night I was in and out of sleep and in and out of bed.

That night, and since then, I’ve had a lot of time to think about what was happening.

And you know what? I’m OK with it.

Surprisingly OK with it in fact.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my ups and downs but, at this point, it is what it is and there is {obviously} no changing it. To be honest, knowing what was happening was much more comforting to me than trying to decide just what the nurse meant when she said this “could be normal”.

It’s a very weird thing to write about now. Especially considering so many of you didn’t even know Andy and I were expecting. But, it’s not something I can just skip over like it never happened.

We are blessed beyond measure in the life we have built together. I truly, truly believe that even though I may not see the reasons now, all things do happen for a reason.

There’s always a silver lining…right?

One-Zero

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Ten.

Ten years, to be exact.

One decade.

More than a third of my life.

On this day, ten years ago, Andy and I decided to “make it official”.

And we’ve never looked back.

Who knew what started as nothing more than a family friend showing me around our local community college campus would grow into the life we have built today.

I remember him back when I thought boys were gross…playing laser tag & eating pizza with him when my uncle would come into town. And, I’ll be honest, at 14 years old when he would come over to do Bio101 projects with my sister, I had a huge crush on him, but never imagined us married.

Words cannot begin to describe the love and admiration I have for this man and just how blessed I am to call him my husband, father of my child, best friend and partner in life.

3 years of dating. 1 year of engagement. 6 years of marriage.

These ten years have given us many blessings as well as many trials. Sometimes a roller coaster. But with one thing remaining constant. Him by my side.

And so, with that…

Here’s to ten more decades.

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What We’ve Been Up To… v.2

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Well it happened again…I went to bed last Wednesday night and I woke up almost a week later.

Ok, maybe that’s not exactly how it happened but holy moly did this last week/weekend fly by.

So here we go…our last week via iPhone photo dump with a little bit of words.

Our new renters moved in over the weekend so that meant that Andy worked around the clock, literally, nearly all last week to finish up the renovations on the upstairs. He’s still not done with it (touch-up painting and flooring to go), but it was at least mostly move-inable. When I say around the clock I really mean it…one day/night/morning he was crawling into bed about 10 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. That man? He’s crazy. See also: hard working, dedicated, rock star, glutton for punishment

However…it has come a LONG way and it looks pretty awesome, if I do say so mahself.

A little peak at the stairway? stairwell? Whatever, the stairs.

My bed-mate and snuggle-mate while all the renovations have been taking place.

In related news: I really miss my husband. We all do.

I have been trying out some new recipes.

Did you know you get a deal when you have carpets cleaned in TWO houses!?

What my Friday nights now look like. See also: lame

My mom and younger brother & sister came out to help Andy one day. Ry & Keri made me a bouquet.

On Saturday since the new renters were moving in so Andy did work outside. Rylee was eager to help him. (that lasted about 10 minutes)

Rylee & I have been spending LOTS of Mama/Daughter time together so far this summer.

Ry wanted to play in “Daddy’s orange thing”. Oh Sweet Rylee…so does Daddy….

Yesterday at work we unloaded a 54 foot truck with approximately 20,000 units on it…in less than 2 hours. That? Oh that’s just a giant bruise on my leg. Proof of the hard work.

This?…this is what happens when you put on a pair of pants you haven’t worn in a long time after you’ve lost weight…they fall about 4 inches lower than normal and the top of your underwear hangs out. Thank goodness for long shirts, ammiright!?

Just a little cheese before leaving for work this morning. Gosh I love that kid.

If I only knew what I was in for…

Somewhere In The Middle

Mostly Average Accounts of the World's Okayest Mom.