At 6:10 AM yesterday morning as I’m pouring Rylee some cereal and begging a fussy, hungry Reese for just a few extra seconds of patience so I can pour myself a cup of coffee, Andy looks at me from the living room and says, “Is your mom taking the girls tomorrow?”
And I just turned and looked at him. Total deer in the headlights. “uhhh…”
I totally forgot that Andy worked today. So I also totally forgot to see if my mom could/wanted to take the girls for the day. When I asked her, she told me she was already busy. Commence the semi-freak out and frantic call to my father-in-law to see if they can take the girls last minute. Thankfully they didn’t have plans and he told me he’d be happy to do it.
This morning, as I was driving out our front gate, I looked down at the gas gauge to see the needle just about on E. I clicked the “distance to empty”. It showed 26 miles. On the way to work, for the first time in 2+ years since we’ve had the Jeep, the gas light turned on. By the time I finally reached the gas station? 14 miles.
I’ve never pushed it that far.
I don’t like doing that. I don’t like dodging bullets and pushing limits when it comes to my girls and our routines.
But really, I feel like that’s how life has been these last couple of weeks. Sure, I had seen the word “work” written in orange on our monthly calendar for today, but I guess it didn’t compute. Yesterday I saw the gas gauge at a quarter of a tank and told myself I needed to stop and get gas before I picked the girls up, but for some reason, I didn’t. Over the last two weeks between work phone calls during dinner putting out fires, cleaning & painting after long days of work and my trip to NC, our typically stellar communication has completely broken down. Everything has been such a blur. I feel like we’ve just been in survival mode. We’ve hardly seen each other.
Looking ahead, it seems like things should be slowing down a bit. I’m ready to turn off survival mode and for our same old boring routines. No more rushing through dinners and solo parenting. No more pushing life to the limits.
Time to regain control.
I’m looking forward a weekend filled with laughter. With love. With Family. My heart needs it.