Category Archives: family

Hard Things

I sit here with a full mind and a blank screen. So much I want to say, though no words will come out. The things I’ve had floating around in my head waiting to come out are still there, but pushed to the back because now they seem trivial.

Why must bad things happen?

How do you explain hard things to little ones? Attacks? Natural disasters? Death of a loved one or even a family pet?

Sometimes I just hope they hold on to their innocence just a little longer, so I keep the TV off and turn the radio dial when the news comes on. They don’t really need to know something bad happened, do they?

Maybe all this will be easier when they’re a little older and more capable of understanding? Or maybe that will just make things harder?

When bad things happen it’s hard not to hold their hands a little tighter in a parking lot or watch them a little more closely. Snuggle just a little bit longer.

They say ignorance is bliss. I want my girls to be blissful and happy and carefree. But I don’t want them to be ignorant and sheltered from the world.

I have to hold on to the faith that there is good that will come of every situation. There are still good people in this world.

We choose to focus on the good.

20130416-160343.jpg

Unfinished Easter

Growing up, every Easter was the same…there would be Easter decorations set out. Even an Easter tree made with blooming branches of the dogwood tree from our backyard. We dyed eggs a couple days before. My mom made us Easter dresses. My dad bought us all corsages to wear. Easter morning baskets were hid and my dad sent us on a scavenger hunt, complete with rhyming clues to find our goodies. There’d be our dyed eggs, some candy and one or two other age appropriate things. We’d all pile in our car and head to church. After church there would always be a big family dinner.

As long as my childhood memory goes back, that was our Easter. And looking back, I loved them. I loved our family traditions.

My mom had her ish together. Or at least in my eyes she did.

My dad rocked the rhyming clues. Even if he did reuse them every couple of years.

I feel like my Easter this year is still kind of…unfinished.

Even with the best of intentions, we never dyed eggs. And I’m not even kidding, I think this is the first year I’ve never dyed eggs…even through college we’d dye eggs because my brother is 10 years younger than me. Don’t get me wrong, I had every intention of dying eggs with Rylee. I boiled our eggs up on Thursday night with plans for dying on Friday. Then Friday came and Rylee was misbehaving so we opted to dye them on Saturday between our Easter party and going to my uncle’s house for dinner. Then when I was cleaning up from the party I went to pull something out of the refrigerator and the entire bowl of boiled eggs fell and cracked. All 11 of them. In a rush I boiled a few more. But we never had time to dye them. So there we were, left with nearly 20 hard boiled eggs and not a single one of them were dyed for Easter.

I hardly even decorated for the holiday. Rylee set our her little Easter village that my mom gave her last year and other than that, this is was the extent of our decorating…

20130402-095620.jpg

Easter morning came and the Easter bunny hide some stuffed eggs for Rylee to find and hid the girls’ baskets.

The only photo I managed to get of either of the girls was a blurry iphone pic of Reese.

20130402-095632.jpg

I found myself getting annoyed that rylee was taking so long to hunt her eggs. Then it was a rush to get ready for church where I put Reese in one of Ry’s baby dresses and Rylee wore one of my favorite dresses of hers that my mom made…then paired it with a blue zip up hoodie and a St. Patrick’s day headband.

Dinner was really good, dessert was fantastic and we spent a ton of time playing outside. All in all it was a great day but we ended the day not even seeing some of our family. To me, that left it…kind of weird.

I want so badly to pass on the family traditions I loved so much as a kid that I hold so close to my heart as an adult.

And yes, I realize we threw an awesome Easter Egg Hunting Party with all of our friends that Rylee will likely remember for years to come. But I just can’t help but feel maybe in my “who cares, this is gonna have to be good enough” attitude, I failed my girls just a little bit.

Maybe I just need to realize that the traditions I loved so much growing up won’t be the same traditions we have for my family. Maybe it will get easier as they get older? As we settle in to our own Easter traditions?

One thing is for sure, no matter what the holiday, my girls will now they are loved and they are important, just like my parents did for me.

Currently V.3

Oh hello Thursday…fancy meeting you here! My mind is currently cluttered with a big ole list of things to do before our First Annual “Rice Ranch” Easter Egg Hunt for Adults (and kids) {but mostly the adults} so I figured I’d play along with Lindsey and her friend and link up with their “Currently” thing. Enjoy?

Feeling better than I was earlier this week. I still have a lingering sore throat, but I’m able to eat, so I’m not going to complain…too much.

Imagining what life is going to be like once we get our back patio put in later this spring. I cannot wait to have our grill always on our back porch and not have to pull it out of the garage and grill on the driveway. And to enjoy playing or relaxing to a view that’s less of our rental house and more of a grassy field…

DSC_0108

Considering getting a pedicure. And also a massage.

Listening to Rylee’s wants/needs more lately. Amazing how a kid actually knows what they need sometimes…novel concept, eh? And, mind blowing, actually listening to them makes for a happier kid. She’s always hungry after school, so was always the battle of “you can have a snack when we get homeifdadisnt on his way home yet”. It madeourevenings miserable and filled with annoying whining that ultimately led me to losing my temper. Now? She gets a snack, dried fruit, maybe a cut up apple or a Z-bar, on the drive home and everyone is happy. By the end of the day, I’m spent, and touched out, but Rylee is in snuggle before bed mode. I’ve been making a conscious effort to put aside my selfishness of just wanting to sit by myself and getting down and letting her sit on my lap, or lay right up against me as we watch some tv. Giving her some one-on-one attention without her baby sister always tugging at my feet or trying to crawl up in the middle of what’s going on seems to be helping make the world a happier place. And also? Less naps…I think we’re coming to an end of naps for my almost 5 year old.

Moving more. We spent nearly all last weekend outside. This is the time of year we’re always on the move and I love it. Theres always stacks upon stacks of projects to be done when you live in the country. I’m really looking forward to being able to do more on the property this spring/summer since i won’t be pregnant or taking care of a newborn. It takes my body a little it to get used to it, but I love spending time outside…weeding a flower bed, hauling firewood or you know…just taking pictures of cows.

DSC_0126

HK

 

Just solidifying my old lady status

Holy crap I’m exhausted today.

As Brandy would say, “I mommed the shit out of this weekend.”

20130325-135107.jpg

See? Even wore a total mom outfit…cardi, skinnies & ballet flats.

Andy was busy working outside all weekend {springtime in the country, it’s a beautiful thing.} hauling firewood, working on the tractor and just generally doing some spring cleaning on the property. That meant I was on solo kid duty.

Saturday I was showered and ready before 8 AM…that? never happens. The girls & I were out of the house by 10:30, hitting Target, of course. We did a bit of shopping then headed out to the airport to have lunch at my best friend’s restaurant…she’s working Saturday’s now/again {WOMP}, so I thought maybe she’d like a visit from a couple of cute little girls. {I got multiple compliments on how cute, darling & well behaved my girls are.}

20130325-135151.jpg

20130325-135115.jpg

After lunch we headed home and after Reese napped we headed outside.

20130325-135140.jpg

20130325-135132.jpg

Sunday the girls and I hit two grocery stores, grabbed doughnuts on the way home then spent a bunch more time outside. While Reese knocked out a 2-ish hour nap I weeded the front flower beds.

There was a mid afternoon bath for Rylee courtesy of the unfortunate placement of her head being directly in line with Reese spitting up.

Then of course there was the general household duties that I attempted to work in there too.

We topped off the weekend with ham, homemade mac-n-cheese, biscuits and veggies.

From sun up to sun down I didn’t stop. Chasing after kids. Holding a needy, teething Reese. Bending. Running. Cooking. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I had my phone tucked away nearly the entire weekend and it was glorious.

But now? I feel old. Like…I didn’t do anything seemingly out of the ordinary, yet here I am on Monday morning completely worn out and physically sore.

And as if it weren’t already completely obvious that I’m the oldest not-even-thirty-year-old on the planet {remember?}, I’ve gone and done it again…Today I’m over on Brandy’s blog ranting about how kids these days are kind of assholes. <–GO READ IT!

Apparently the sun got to me this weekend, because today? COLORED TIGHTS!

20130325-135208.jpg

Happy Monday Friends!!

It’s happening again…

first thing this morning I had been sitting in the rocking chair in the living room enjoying some alone time before anyone woke up when Ry came out and crawled up in my lap. Instead of the usual cartoons and breakfast, she just rested her head in the crook of my neck and we rocked. Not long after, I heard Reese from her bedroom. I snuck out from under Ry, leaving her curled up in the chair. After getting Reese, I brought her back out to the living room to feed her only to find Rylee passed out in the chair. I headed back to Reese’s room to feed her in there. While I was nursing her, Ry came in and proceeded to pass out on the floor.

The entire time I was getting ready for work she was acting whiney and sleepy. Then even cried a little when I left. That never happens.

Even Reese was acting tired as I was leaving…about 45 minutes to an hour earlier than her normal napping time.

I got off the phone with Andy earlier today and he said none of them were feeling particularly chipper. Rylee has hardly been hungry all day. Reese sleepier than normal. And his throat is soar. Once he was done feeding Reese, he was going to take Rylee’s temperature.

Then I started thinking…maybe this runny nose & sneezing I’ve been dealing with these last few days isn’t allergies like I’ve been thinking.

I came home from work to a puking kid and a fevered husband.

Uggggghhhh…I don’t want us to start this nasty sick cycle all over again!

But at least it’s the weekend and we won’t be missing any work/school, right? {spoken like a true working mom}

Ugh.

20130315-192758.jpg