“Today is the day” I thought to myself. I’ll just go ahead and get it out of the way first thing in the morning. Then I proceeded to spend the entire rest of the day waiting for the “perfect moment” while simultaneously feeling like I was going to puke and completely tense from the anxiety coursing through my veins.

I kept repeating the line I’d just read from Lean In the day before, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid…” hoping it would make it better.

I knew this was going to be one of the hardest conversations I’d ever had.

I ate my feelings…they tasted like biscuits & gravy for breakfast and nachos for lunch.

By the end of the day I was pacing my office.

The perfect moment never came. I knew I just needed to rip off the band-aid and at 4:55 PM yesterday afternoon, I had both of my bosses in my office with the door closed.

“I was offered a job last week and I’ve decided to take it…”

I blurted it out as fast as I could without making eye contact with either of them.

I was thisclose to ugly crying right in front of them. Yes, there were even actual real tears. We talked some more and while shocked, they are ultimately supportive.

So there you have it. I am leaving the team {more like family} I’ve worked with for the last 7 years for a new opportunity. I am beyond excited and beyond scared. I’m leaving everything comfortable and taking a risk. I’m sure I’ll talk more about it here in the future, but for now, I’m focusing on helping out my current company prepare for an upcoming product launch and tradeshow (and hiring my replacement) for the remainder of the year.

Since the initial offer, while talking to family and close friends about the opportunity I get pumped. Then when left alone with my thoughts, I start freaking out. Of course, now that it’s out in the open it’s gotten better. Though to be 100% honest, I’m still kind of going back and forth.

But then I think of that question again “What would you do if you weren’t afraid…” and I know I’m doing it.

Now the question is I wonder if I’ll be able to incorporate my deer head into my new office space…