I don’t mean that I’m gay, because I’m not. I’m actually talking about you being gay. Hypothetically, of course. Unless you are, because then that wouldn’t be hypothetical, now would it?
Either way, my point is this: I don’t care.
I don’t care if you’re gay. Whether you are attracted to men or women has absolutely no bearing on my feelings toward you. If you’re a good person and if we have things in common, that’s much more important to me that your sexual preference. If we were friends and I loved you before I knew you were gay, I’m going to love you after that and I’m still going to be your friend. Period.
Now this doesn’t mean I want to see you making out with your partner on the street corner, but I’ll be honest, I don’t want to see anyone doing that, no matter who their partner is…just like you probably don’t want to see me making out with my husband.
I recently saw this floating around the internet:
“Hate is FAR more of a choice than homosexuality ever will be.”
I couldn’t agree more. I read this and instantly thought “YES! EXACTLY THIS!”
These days it seems like there’s never enough hours in the day and people are always tired and running on fumes. So, why do we need to waste any of our precious energy on hating someone because of something they have no control over, that doesn’t effect you in the least bit? I don’t know about you, but it just doesn’t make sense to me.
If you come at me with some sort of “the bible says it’s wrong” crap, I happen to know the bible also says we need to love others as we love ourselves (Mark12:31). I was not put on this Earth to cast judgement on others for something as seemingly irrelevant as whether you’re attracted to men or to women.
What would happen if your kid came to you and said they were gay? Are you going to hate them? I mean, are you really going to love them one day, then hear them say the words “I’m gay” and do a complete 180 the next? Don’t you think your child should have the right to love whomever their heart tells them to?
I don’t like confrontation. I like to play it safe. I like to look at/hear all sides of a story. I rarely take sides. Or, if I do take a side, I’m not one to come out and tell you. I mean really, the name of this little blog is “Somewhere in the Middle” and that applies to so many things in my life. But when it comes to being mean, or cruel, or just downright hateful to another human being just because of their sexual preference? Well, that’s one thing where I’m not “Somewhere In the Middle”.
I totally agree with you. My sister came out as gay to my dad and my older sister several years ago. My mom sort of figured it out and was so incredibly judgmental toward her. She was afraid to tell me (the youngest by 10 years) because she was afraid I would react like my mom did. It was sort of heartbreaking at the time, but I finally just began pointedly asking things about her partner until she finally asked me why I was asking. Now that she knows I love her regardless of her sexual orientation, we are so much closer than we ever were.
Oh my gosh, it's like we're almost living a double life…the very same situation happened to me last year with my brother! I was the last one, besides my dad, to know and wow, it really, really hurt.
Beautifully said, Katherine! Whenever people argue that the Bible says it's wrong, I always shoot back by telling them that the Bible also says we're supposed to love everyone (which in my opinion, trumps all).
My super-Catholic grandma is the most opinionated lady in the world – she'll tell you her opinion, even if you don't ask. She also has a gay daughter…and she loves her. We were talking about it this summer and she so simply summed it up for me in regards to how she felt about it and how that influenced how she treats my aunt — "You feel how you feel. It's how you act that makes a difference."
That quote immediately went up on my bulletin board, and it has been there ever since.
Thanks for sharing Katherine :)
Thanks Abbie. And I really LOVE what your grandma said. It's so true.
Right there with ya. I loathe confrontation, but things got a little ugly on my personal FB page when a childhood acquaintance made a disparaging remark about the Prop 8 overturn the other day. Had to call him out and then publicly defriended him. No room for intolerance in my circle of friends.
Good for you for taking a stand. I know that is NOT an easy thing to do!
Love this post! Couldn't agree more.
Thank you! It's been something I've wanted to get out for a while and just haven't had the guts to do it.
Okay, so I have a question….is your brother the cheerleader? He seems like a lot of fun and it also seems that Rylee just loves her uncle….that is what matters! Thank you for the post…it makes my heart happy!
He is a cheerleader! Him & Ry are so, so close. She seriously adores him!
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I agree. God did not put us in charge of hating and judging others. No matter our opinions or preferences we are supposed to love one another. Just like I wouldn't hate my friend because they don't like killing and eating animals, I also shouldn't judge my friend for their sexual preferences. Lastly, some people pull do pull out the Bible and say it is a sin like you had mentioned Katherine, but what makes that sin any worse than the lie I just told or that thought I just had? I'm far from without sin and I believe God loves me just the same as you, and just the same as my gay uncle.