I’ve been struggling all day.

On more than one occasion, I’ve said I have no words. I’m still not sure I do, but I can’t just sit here.

I know there will always be things in life I won’t understand. But sometimes, that’s a hard pill to swallow.

I know of a number of friends that are battling infertility. I even have a couple of friends that I suspect are battling infertility, but haven’t shared it with me and I haven’t asked because it’s not my place.

All the friends that are struggling, would make amazing parents. Amazing. And what really pisses me off about it all, is that there are people that are in absolutely no position to be bringing small humans into this world, yet get pregnant by doing nothing more than sneezing.

HOW can these amazing people that would make amazing parents not be able to have babies?

Infertility is a dirty whore.

I am angry.

In my head, I can repeat “everything happens for a reason” and “we’ll never be given anything we can’t handle” over and over and over again, but right now, I can’t see past right now.

I am struggling to understand. As a woman, as a friend, as a christian.

And because I don’t know what else to do, I pray.

I pray for peace for the families struggling. I pray for their healing; physical, emotional and mental. I pray  for the right words to speak, when necessary. I pray for wisdom and foresight that I may be able to recognize need and step in to help, even in some small way.

I pray for understanding for all those struggling.

Struggling with the weight of it all.

Struggling in silence.

Struggling to make sense of it all.

Just struggling.