Category Archives: just writing

Irrational Fears and Pregnancy Dreams.

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Outside it was just like any other drizzly Oregon spring day. All loaded up in my dad’s white truck, we were headed out for a family fishing trip. Andy was driving. I was in the passenger seat. Rylee behind me buckled safely in her car seat, snoozing away.

For whatever reason, we decided to drive along the creek to our desired fishing spot. Being early spring, the water was high and fast…more like a river than the creek we were used to. The moss on the rocks along the creek bed, glistening in the sunny mist of the morning made for a beautiful, peaceful drive.

It all happened so suddenly. The back end of the truck slipped on some moss and before we knew it we were upside down in the water. Adrenaline took over and in less than a second I was in the back seat trying to unbuckle my sleeping girl.

My fingers wouldn’t work. I couldn’t get the chest buckle undone. I looked to the front seat, my eyes flashed with fear to Andy.

As I continued to struggle, the windows of the truck started to crack under the pressure of the water. Freezing, brown water came rushing in the cab and I knew it was over…

My eyes flew open and my breathing was heavy. I sat up on my elbows. Phew…just a dream. I must have been stirring in my sleep because as soon as I sat up Andy asked if everything was all right.

Just a bad dream, I said.

It was all I could do not to rush straight into Rylee’s room right then and there, scoop her up and not let her go for the rest of the night.

I’ve always been a vivid dreamer, but I’ve never had a dream like this. Taking my two worst fears, drowning and something awful happening to my baby, and stirring them together.

To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m afraid of drowning. It’s completely irrational considering I know how to swim, I can tread water and I love being out on the water…on a boat, on the bank…fishing, kayaking, sunbathing.

I tried to calm my racing heart and get back to sleep. Nothing worked.

I tossed and turned for the next 30 minutes.

When Ry ended up at the side of our bed, I leapt at the opportunity to take her back to bed. I snuggled her close, resting my cheek against the top of her head.

Once her breathing grew heavy, my breathing slowed.

As she melted up against me, I melted into the bed and was finally able to sleep again.

You Know That Working Mom Blog Thing

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I haven’t talked about it much over here lately, but I’m still writing weekly over at Liberating Working Moms.

So many great things have been happening on that side of the interwebs I wanted to share!

We’re up to 7 regular writers for the site now! I love the different mix of women we have. 3 from the Western side of North America, 4 from the Eastern side. 2 Canadians even! We all have different types of jobs too…2 of us in marketing, though not the same kind, 2 of us teachers, 1 office manager, 1 web developer and 1 attorney. A couple of us are boy moms, the rest of us are girl moms. Two of us have buns in the oven. It’s so great to see women from different walks of life coming together to share their experiences as working moms.

Some of our posts have been recognized and featured on the career page AND home page of the BlogHer Network! If you aren’t familiar with the BlogHer network it’s ok, but trust me when I say this is a BIG deal! And? Two of them were mine! One where I talked about leaving stress at the door and the other where I gave some tips for traveling for work while pregnant.

We recently started up an online shop where you can buy goodies for your favorite working mom! {I love the “Supermom at Work” one and the “I make Humans & Deadlines” one…just sayin’} I got to flex my mad design skillz on these and help Tracy, our founder & editor with the designs. It was a lot of fun and all the proceeds that are earned from these sales are being put toward sending our associate editor, Brandee, to BlogHer2012 National Blogging Conference where she can network and learn more about growing the blog on LWM’s behalf. If you ask me, these would make wonderful Mother’s Day gifts.

Today, I’m posting my “Working With Style”. It’s a feature we do every Saturday. We rotate between the 7 of us and today it’s my turn! I really stepped out of my comfort zone on this one…Go see!

And if you feel so inclined, you can like us on facebook to get links to our latest posts. Or maybe you’re not a working mom and you know someone who is, pass it on!

Ok…phew! I know that’s a ton of information but I’m so excited about everything that’s been going on I wanted to update you on this amazing community that has become such a big part of my life! {And I swear I’m done with the over usage of exclamation points now!…ok now.}

Flashback to Myspace: More About Me!

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My girl Alicia, from Life with the Ladies, slash one of by favorite ladies on the interwebs tagged me in a little game. And, while I’m not tagging anyone else, because at this point, I swear everyone I would have tagged has been (I’m a little late to the party), I thought it’d be fun to still play along at least a little bit!

And seriously? This totally reminds me of my days on myspace and how I could spend hours filling out those survey question things…and by “could” I mean I did. So, I couldn’t resist.

So first, the rules that I’m not completely following:

  1. Post these rules
  2. Post 11 random things about yourself
  3. Answer the questions set for you in the post you were tagged in
  4. Create 11 new questions for your tagees to answer
  5. Tag them on Twitter, Facebook or your blog

11 Random Things About Me:

1. I’ve broken my elbow, my nose and my ankle (in two places). Not all at once, but when I was younger, I was pretty much an accident waiting to happen.

2. I worked at Cold Stone Creamery for 4+ years. Every year I’d attend the annual Franchisee Meeting in Las Vegas.

3. I graduated high school when I was 16. No, I wasn’t “really smart”, I just started out my Junior year w/ enough credits to be a senior, so I decided to graduate a year early. Coincidentally, I graduated college with my bachelor’s degree when I was 20.

4. I tried boogy-boarding once.

5. I hate shrimp and crab and all things shell fish.

6. I got into a physical fight with my oldest sister with I was in high school.

7. I took horseback riding lessons when I was in the 5th grade.

8. When I was younger, I wanted to marry Randy Travis. My love affair started when I was 5 years old when I first heard his cassette tape while staying a weekend with my cousin.

9. I have this obsession with cracking Andy’s toes. Seriously, it’s kind of a sickness. Whenever he puts his feet on me, or if he’s just resting his feet on the coffee table, I will pop them.

10. I went to Rome for a pilgrimage when I was 16 and even though it sounds cliche, it totally changed my life.

11. Broccoli has been my favorite vegetable since I was a little kid.

Questions I was asked to Answer:

1. Did you have an imaginary friend? What was his/her name? Sort of. I had this friend at day care named Carey Anne. She also happened to be my imaginary friend at home.

2. I’m interviewing you for your dream job- how do you get me to hire you? Clearly, my charm and wit and beauty should do the trick. Clearly.

3. Is there a song that makes you want to cry every time you hear it? I don’t think so. But the summer between my 8th grade and freshman year, my mom’s best friend dies of a brain tumor and at her funeral they played “I will remember you” by Sarah Mclachlan and for years, every time I heard that song I’d start sobbing.

4. What is one personality trait of your partner’s that you wish you had? His patience. That man has the patience of a saint.

5. Go-to website for sure-fire hilarity? http://www.pinterestyouaredrunk.com/

6. What’s your favourite childhood memory of a grandparent? So many. I don’t remember my grandfathers because they both passed away before I was even a toddler, but my grandmothers? They were great…I can’t pick just one favorite memory. But one funny memory? One of my grandma’s used to ALWAYS ask me if I’d had my daily BM. o_O

7. You see a mom at the playground. She’s on her phone while her mouthy kid stuffs sand down his pants and smushes his chewed gum in her purse. What do you tweet about her? Oh man, I have no clue. I’m so not witty about things like this. It’d probably be something obvious like, “Holy crap, just saw a kid stuff sand down his pants while his mom talked on the phone”

8. Describe a moment in the very recent past you wanted to give a self-high-five? I made it through the day last Saturday without taking a nap. Does that count?

9. How long does it take to get from your house to Windsor, Ontario? According to Google Maps: Driving: 39 hours, Walking: 31 days, 19 hours, Bicycle: 9 days, 4 hours

10. Do you remember what you wanted to name your kid when you were younger? Boy name and girl name. Girl: Zoe, Boy: Ira and/or Ezra

11. If you could only dip your vegetables in one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose? Normally I don’t dip my veggies in anything, but if we’re talking a FOREVER thing? I’d have to say ranch, just so I at least have a back-up.

 

It’s about to get really real up in here.

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So here it is Friday again, and I’ve gone another week with only blogging two times.

It’s easy to say work has been busy. Growing a baby is making me tired. There’s never enough hours in the day…blah blah blah.

And while those things are true, I’m kind of experiencing some writer’s block. Not that I really consider myself a “writer”, but I think you know what I mean.

It’s not that there’s been a lack of cute happening around my house, I mean Ry is keeping us on our toes with the things she’s saying/asking lately, but there’s just other things on my mind…things that I don’t normally write about but have been tugging at my heart anyway.

Normally I like to keep things pretty light hearted around here…fun photos and stories, etc but these things on my heart, they aren’t really “fun” and light hearted. They’re somewhat of the serious nature, and some might even say…controversial.

And I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not one for controversy. Or confrontation. Which has the fact that I’m even thinking about writing about these things scaring the ever loving crap out of me. But at the same time, I feel like if I don’t get them out there, maybe those whole writer’s block thing won’t go away and I’ll be stuck in some ugly blogging rut.

Am I even making any sense?

Who knows. But here’s what I do know, I’m going to spend some time tapping out these things that have been on my heart lately and try and get through this rut. Who knows if what comes out of my heart and my head will even make sense, but I’m going to do it anyway.

So, next week bare with me as I get…raw…and real…and put some of my actual, potentially unpopular opinions out there on the interwebs for all to see, and potentially judge. ::shudders::

When one thing goes wrong, a million other things do too, but then you get to buy something new!

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You know when one thing goes wrong it’s like a million things go wrong?

Well I feel like that happens to us all.the.time. And right before, or was it right after, Christmas was no exception. Andy was on his way to cut firewood with my dad in our Suburban and they got home way to soon. Something had to be wrong. Oh and it was…they were lucky to have made it back home. The Suburban broke down on their way and they had to turn around and come home. We knew the Suburban was going to need a new motor sooner or later, I mean it’s a freaking ’89 for cripe’s sake, but we were banking on the “later” part. Anyway, off to the mechanic it went. And stayed for a few weeks. We were, thankfully, able ot bandaid it and put of the new motor for at least a few more months.

That same weekend, we were told by our renters that there was a leak in the roof of the house. Well, eff. The leak pretty much ruined the new laminate flooring Andy had JUST installed in July before they moved in. Luckily, he was able to pretty easily fix the leak and the floor doesn’t really need to be replaced, it’s just a little bit warped in one spot.

Well, then, right after we got the Suburban back from the mechanic’s I went to start and warm up our ’88 Buick {seriously, y’all, I told you we be glamorous high rollers} in the morning before work. I noticed it did sounds like it normally did. I headed back in the house to grab my stuff and give kisses goodbye only to come back outside to find the Buick not running. What the whaa? So naturally, I tried to start it again. No dice. So to the mechanic the Buick went.  {Side note, our mechanic freaking loves us}

At this point it was right before the end of the year and not knowing what the deal was with the Buick we started talking about getting a new car. Could we afford it right now? We haven’t had a car payment since a month after we were married, so that’d be a major adjustment. But, my student loan would be paid off within the next 3 months, so well…could we really afford it? We decided we better wait to hear back from the mechanic before making any decisions.

But, being the dreamer I am, I was on Toyota’s website looking at new cars the next day.

Here’s our {or my} requirements for a new car/Buick remplacement:

  • Must get good gas milage-right now the Buick gets 27 miles/gallon.
  • Since the Buick is currently Andy’s main daily driver and I normally just drive it on his days off/summer/winter break, this would be a car for him. So a new car can’t be anything lame and…not manly. {granted, he’s been rolling in an 88 Buick Le Saber for the last 3 years, so anything will be a step up, but he draws a hard line at the smart car!}
  • We rarely let Rylee ride in the Buick, so it’d be nice to have another “kid friendly” vehicle.
  • It’s gotta be budget friendly…we haven’t had a car payment in a long time. Lots of “things” have happened since then in regard to finances in our house. Will Andy still have is “head teacher” position next year? Because if not, that’ll be a reduction in pay. Oh and there’s the minor detail that we’re having another kid! so yea…budget friendly is a must.
  • It has to last…I mean duh, we have an 89 suburban and an 88 buick and right now our newest car is a 2004. We keep the vehicles around for a while.

Ok, so based on our criteria I’m thinking, when the time comes to replace the Buick, we’ll be looking at something along the lines of a Corolla or Matrix on the lower end or, maybe we’ll even think hybrid {I mean the man does drive 70+ miles a day}…and go with the surprisingly affordable, family friend Prius V.

Image Source: http://www.toyota.com/priusv/

At this point it’s just a waiting game, but let’s hope when the Buick does make it’s last ride, that’ll be the ONLY thing that goes wrong.

{And by last ride, I mean I’ll be throwing a party and doing a happy dance}

Disclosure: I was selected for participation in the TWIN community through a program with Clever Girls Collective. I did not receive any compensation for writing this post, or payment in exchange for participating. The opinions expressed herein are mine, and do not reflect the views of the Toyota.