I kind of pride myself in being optimistic. Chipper even. But I just can’t shake the whomps.
I woke up yesterday with a sore throat. It’s steadily gotten worse.
And I have a headache.
And I dressed the part with jeans and a hoodie.
Last night I was exhausted and not feeling well and both the girls were up later than normal. And of course, I felt like I had a million and one things on my to-do list. By the time I got them both down, I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Andy was down working on the rental…just like he will be each night until I leave.
Speaking of leaving while I’m looking forward to my trip, at the same time I’m not. I’m feeling weird about leaving. Not guilty, just unsettled. I’m sure it’s a mix of not feeling well, this being the first long trip away from Reese and the fact that there is still so much to do down at the rental before our new tenants move in and I’m leaving Andy to handle all of that and the girls.
I set out some green tea to sip on at work today. I forgot it.
I’m pretty sure my pump is giving out. It seems like it’s missing/slipping/skipping gears…if that even makes sense. I really don’t want to spend a bunch of money buying another one when I know I won’t be needing it again once I’m done nursing Reese.
Tonight is NCIS & Taco night…but we’ll be rushing through dinner so Andy can get to work painting which means my favorite NCIS watching partner won’t be with me.
There was thick, heavy fog that lingered on my drive to work this morning…appropriate, I thought.
There’s this little fact that when someone asks “how are you doing” that most times, they really don’t actually care.
These days, I’m getting that question a lot. My standard answer? I’m fine.
And while I’m sure that annoys some of the askers, I’m pretty sure no one wants to hear…
That I’m running on sleep that comes in increments of 1.5-2 hours at a time.
That I’m so out of it sometimes that I’m wearing a pink elastic hair band on my wrist(s) to remind me which side I need to feed on next.
That I’m completely self conscious of the “headlight effect” happening courtesy of my nursing pads.
That it’s driving me crazy that what shushing/singing/swaying/swaddling tactics work one time to get Reese to sleep well completely fail the next time around.
That my wedding ring & engagement ring still don’t fit right.
That I feel like a freaking dairy cow because I’m nursing every 1-3 hours, depending on the day.
That there’s times I fear my nipples may get ripped off due to the thrashing around of a certain three-week-old.
That I’m completely sick of wearing absorbent anything in my chonies.
That my hair is falling out like whoa and if I didn’t have such think hair, I’d be afraid I were going bald.
That I swear I’m in a constant state of stank…and can’t figure out exactly why.
That I can’t button a single pair of pants.
That some of my pants I can’t even get over my ass.
That I sweat…a lot…like a gross amount. For no reason.
That I feel like a complete jerk of a wife because Andy is doing way, WAY more than his share around the house.
That I feel like an even bigger jerk of a mom because Rylee is taking the back seat to baby sister.
I mean really…would you really want to hear all that?
Yea, didn’t think so.
So see? When you ask me how I’m doing? I’m fine.
But, here’s the deal…the way I see it, all of this just comes with the territory of having a newborn.
And holding this sweet girl in my arms, makes it all worth it.
Oh, and I do get to shower daily, so there’s that…
Over the last couple of years I’ve read and followed lots of blogs. Many of which are bloggers right here in the good old Pacific Northwest.
Last year, a few bloggers got together and decided to put together a PNW Blogger meet-up in Seattle in September. I worked up the courage to talk to Andy about wanting to go. After he got done laughing at me, he was all, “hey, go have fun!”. Well, after car pooling and hotel sharing plans fell through with a few ladies, I ended up not being able to go. I was totally bummed out.
{Turns out that’s the same weekend I ended up having the miscarriage, so it was a total blessing I didn’t go}
Anywho, fast forward a few months and there were plans thrown out for another meet-up! This time in Portland! Woo-to-the-hoo! Tickets went on sale. I talked to Andy about it, got things squared away to go, then went to buy my ticket and they had already sold out.
Dude.
So, yesterday, while I’m wishing Mandy a happy birthday, she asks me if she’ll be seeing me at the blogger meet-up. I reply with a sad no…unless Chelsea (the event coordinator) is able to pull a magic ticket out of the air.
No freaking joke, I send that reply and not more than two minutes later, I get an email from Chelsea saying there’s a ticket available if I want it!
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!
Of course, I have to get back to her ASAP because there’s other ladies on the waiting list that want to go. I’m never able to get ahold of Andy during the day, but it’s about lunchtime-ish so I try him on a whim. He answers! I tell him what’s up. He tells me to go! Have fun!
That? Just happened. I’m totally stoked. Practically dancing in my office chair with excitement.
It’s like devine intervetion here people.
Or something like that.
Whatever.
All I know is that I’m leaving work in a couple of hours, headed up to Portland to hang out with a bunch of super awesome ladies I’d been dying to meet for a very long time.
No joke, some of them have even made appearances in my dreams. {And I totally mean that in the least creepy way possible.}
Ok. End nerd out. Have a great weekend!! {I know I will}
Lights dimmed. Candles lit. Light, relaxing music playing in the background.
I’d been going to prenatal yoga for months now, so the whole “go around the room, say your name and how far along you are” thing was nothing new. But today, the instructor threw something else out there…
In a soft, sing-songy voice she said, “Say your name, how far along you are and share with us what you are most looking forward to during the labor process…”
We started at the other end of the room.
Women began sharing…
“I’m Marsha, I’m 20 weeks this coming Tuesday and I’m most looking forward to the feeling of empowerment that will come from giving my baby life!”
“I’m Nancy, I’m 32 weeks, and I am looking forward to feeling everything during my drug-free laboring process.”
“I’m Susie, I’m 27 weeks with my second child, and I can’t wait to labor & birth my baby in water this time.”
As we snaked our way around the room the answers all pretty much sounded that way…every lady was looking forward to feeling liberated and empowered and insert some other hell-yea I’m a feminist! Fist bumps & solidarity for all adjective here.
Then it got to me…
The girl that always sat in the back.
The girl that never really “ommm-ed” as loud as everyone else.
“I’m Katherine, I’m {insert number of weeks here, because I don’t remember} along and what I’m looking forward to during the labor process is…
::I paused…I let out a little chuckle and gave a side eye::
Well, I’m looking forward to it being over.”
…
… … …
You could’ve heard a pin drop.
The look of horror on those ladies’ faces is something I will never forget.
Sometimes, in the blogging world I feel really out of place when it comes to the other bloggers I associate/interact with.
Actually? A lot like this…
Especially? When it comes to…GUNS.
My opinion on guns is not of the “popular one” particularly among the “mom-blog” community.
I really don’t get worked up over many things. I’m pretty laid back. I realize that everyone has their own opinion on different matters and that a lot of the time, they’re not the same as mine and that’s ok. Normally, I just keep my mouth shut, but I read a post the other day, and some of the comments that accompanied it and my blood started to boil.
It was all I could do not to start typing up a frenzy in the comments. To me, the post touched on two very different aspects of guns but wrapped them up into the same category. One being people that have guns that shouldn’t for reasons such as mental issues, criminal past, etc. The other aspect focused on kids and guns and how kids are killing other kids with guns and how many millions of homes in the US there are with kids and loaded, unlocked guns. There was also the generalization that all guns and all people that have guns are bad.
First of all, I completely agree with the post in regard to the fact that there should be a better screening process for someone purchasing a fire arm. Plain & Simple some people should not be able to purchase, or have access to, a firearm. About a year ago a local police officer lost his life in a “routine” traffic stop because the woman he pulled over had a mental illness and fatally shot him as he approached her vehicle. Would he still be here today if the state of Oregon had different screening processes/laws in place? Probably. Should there be some sort of formal gun handling/shooting training required in order to purchase a gun? Perhaps.
And what about that little girl that was recently shot accidentally by a classmate because the kid brought a gun to school? Thank God that little girl is alive and recovering. Is it the guns fault for shooting that girl? Hardly. Is it the little boy’s fault? I would go with a no on that one. When it comes down to it, his parents need to be held accountable for what happened. Whether or not they should own a gun, they do and it was their negligence that harmed that girl…negligence for leaving a loaded gun somewhere a young child could get it and negligence for not teaching that boy about proper gun safety. Again, I agree with the author of the post that there are better ways that we can protect children when it comes to firearms.
So, I agree there are people that should absolutely not have guns, have access to guns, etc. And there are opportunities for better gun laws that would protect children. But, when it comes down to it? Not every.single.person. that owns a gun is irresponsible and unfit to do so.
Guess what? I have a gun. Multiple guns, in fact. Some to be used specifically for hunting {another unpopular topic among the vast majority of mom-blogs}, a few that are just fun to shoot and yes, even one for {GASP!} home defense.
In absolutely no instance are there guns just laying around loaded! In no instance does my daughter have any access to any firearm in our house. All of our guns are locked up in a gun safe. Most, in addition to being locked up, also have trigger locks on them. And all of our ammo (aside from our hand gun) is locked in a separate cabinet. And even though our hand gun is loaded, it’s locked away in it’s own safe. To be honest, to me, it doesn’t matter that one is loaded and the rest are not, because the number one rule of gun safety is that you treat every single firearm as though it’s loaded.
And when the gun(s) do come out? We take every single opportunity to teach our daughter about gun safety. Yes, even at 3 years old. She knows she’s never to touch a gun. If she sees one, she needs to immediately find a trusted adult. When we hold guns, it needs to be held in a safe direction, away from people. If we’re in the house, or if we’re taking the guns in a vehicle, the first thing we do is make sure it’s not loaded. We never point them anywhere but where we are planning on shooting. We never put our finger on the trigger until we are ready to shoot.
Does this make me a bad person? Would you not let your kid come over to my house and play just because of the simple fact that I have guns in my house?
To be honest, if you told me that you wouldn’t let your kid come over because we own guns, I’d probably be offended. I certainly wouldn’t be offended that you asked, because it’s your job as a parent to keep your child safe, and as Rylee gets older and goes on playdates at other people’s houses, it’s something I’ll certainly be asking. I’d take offense to the fact that if you asked, and I took the time to tell you, heck even show you, that we take precautions when it comes to firearms that you would still make the assumption that your child would not be safe in my home. If anything, knowing that you, and your child, are uneasy when it comes to guns, I’d go above and beyond to make sure everything was locked away, and stayed that way, as it should be as long as your child was in my home and in my care.
For me, it’s not the guns that scare me. It’s the people that have access to them that shouldn’t. It’s the people that don’t respect them. It’s the people that don’t know how to use them properly. It’s the people that don’t teach their little ones about said respect and proper use.
So, there you have it…my unpopular opinion on guns. We might not see eye to eye on the subject, but just like Sandra Bullock says at the end of Miss Congeniality, “…I really do want world peace.”
