I officially had my grossest parenting moment a few weeks ago. One of those so gross you can’t believe this is real life/can’t help but laugh kind of moments.

Scene: watching Rylee’s TBall game, sitting in the grass eating Subway for dinner.

Keep in mind Reese has been potty training. Overall she does pretty well. So much so we’ve been a bit more brave when it comes to taking her out in public in chonies. But for whatever reason this night was not so awesome…

Oh yes, this is one of THOSE stories. I’m mostly noting it here so I can hold it against Reese when she gets older.

So there we are, sitting on the grass eating Subway. I’m just finishing up my sandwich, about to grab some chips when Reese stands up and proclaims, “I POOP!” Not a crazy thing to hear her say, that girls loves the porta-potties {harf!}. So I say to her, “You need to go potty, Reese?” And she responds with “NO I POOP!” and proceeds to motion toward her butt. Where I look and see the silhouette of something definitely poop-like through her leggings.

Oye.

Andy offers to take her to the car to get her changed, but he’s not done eating and I am, so I get up. At first I let her walk toward the car. It’s a pretty far walk and as we go along I see her leggings start to get…saggy.

We need to speed this up.

I pick her up, trying carefully not to put any pressure on her little bum. At some point during the longest walk to the car in the history of mankind she gets a little wiggly so I need to adjust her. I look down at my arm and sure enough my sweater cuff has poop on it.

Yup, the poop has soaked through her underwear. And pants. And onto my sweater.

Keep cool, Kat. Don’t panic. Hurry hurry to the car.

We finally get to the car. Thank goodness we keep extra towels back there! I have the foresight to take off her socks and shoes before we…proceed. I can’t decide if I want her to stand up or lie down.

So I won’t go into too much detail but trust me. It was…gross. So much so that I went through every single baby wipe in the diaper bag and still could have used a few more.

As for her pants and underwear? Yea, I put those bad boys in a plastic bag with the wipes, picking them up like a dog walker picks up dog poop in the park, and that bag went straight into the outside garbage when we got home.

STRAIGHT TO THE TRASH.

It was that gross.

Then she got a bath.

We never did make it back to finish watching the TBall game.

The end.

I hope I never, ever have to go through something like that again. Ever.