Girls,

Look, there’s things in life that school and books won’t teach you. And common sense just really isn’t all that common anymore. Lucky for you? I’ve lived through a lot of those “things” and I’m here to share my wisdom with you. What can I say? I’m a giver.

{Plus, I carried you in my uterus for 9+ months and grew your from nothing, let weird/nasty things happen to my body in the name of procreation, then solely provided the nutrition that sustained your life for umpteen months after that, so the least you can do is humor me here. Deal?}