These last few days I’ve just been in a funk. Last night it all seemed to be rising quickly to my breaking point and I had this great post I was writing in my head all about the crappy stuff and how tough my life is and woe is me. A regular old pity party.
Things like having a three year old who loves to push your buttons until she finds just the right one to make you snap. The stupid asshole dog got skunked again. My garden that I finally got under control and planted has decided to take a shit and none of my cucumbers sprouted and the beans all sprouted then died soon after. I’m ready to just cover that section back up with the winter cover and call it a day. And the weeds…oh the weeds. (I am completely convinced that weeds are another one of God’s way to punish Adam and Eve…and now us). And how my wonderful, hardworking husband came home from his 12 day trip to turn right around a few days later and work a 12 hour, then a 14 hour day on the rental…during my weekend. When I specifically requested he get help with Ry during the week so that we could have family time on the weekends. Then there was the realization that, after the rental project was over and the new renters are in, our focus is going to shift to all the other projects on the property that will have been neglected…like painting the barn and repainting the front of our house and mowing the grass on the back half of our property, and by the times that’s all done the front part will need to be brush hogged again. Plus that’s also on top of the regular mowing of our “yard”. Suddenly, all of the fun summer “to-dos” I had swirling around in my head seemed to come to a screeching halt.
Combine all that with the fact that I just went off of a medication I’d been on going on 3 years and my hormones are just all sorts of crazy and it was getting to me. Holy balls was it getting to me…
Then, last night after I put Rylee to bed, while Andy was (still) down working at the rental I picked up the phone and made a phone call. While there was nothing deep and philosophical about the conversation, it automatically made me feel better. The mini bowl of chocolate ice cream probably helped too.
After I hung up the phone I thought for a few minutes. And I prayed.
This whole shit storm? Guess what…it’s just life. And it’s a life that we chose. Sure we might not get to go on all the amazing camping trips I had planned out in my head. But it doesn’t mean that we can’t go on one. And we can do plenty of other fun stuff. I need to stop being so selfish. It’s time for me to put my big girl britches on and suck it up.
We chose this.
P.S. Shout out to my very best friend Julia…my B. Just…thanks…