Category Archives: just writing

Today is January 2

Today is January 2nd.

Today is my first day back full time from maternity leave.

No, I’m not that sad about it.

Today is my 1-year work anniversary.

Yes, if you’re doing the math right now, I got pregnant literally a week into my new job.

Today is my first official day in my new role.

Yep, I got a promotion.

2014 was pretty rad. I started a brand new job, scared out of my mind. Nothing but good has come from it and looking back I can’t believe I was so nervous. Our family grew by one whole person and filled a void none of us knew existed. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time home these last few months…more so than I can say for my other two maternity leaves, if I’m being honest. But I’m ready to get back into the swing of things. Back full time, with a new role on top of it, won’t come without challenges but I’m ready.

Today is the real kick-off to 2015. I have a feeling it’s gonna be a good one.

Cheers!

An urge to write

Every so often (actually, quite often) I get this urge to write. It could be about a specific story- maybe about one of the kids, maybe not-, about a cool project we’ve been doing around the house, maybe recipe, or like now, just a little update about things and such. Unfortunately, when these impulses arise, I am rarely at a good place to drop everything and write. But hey, here I am, with the urge to write, no kids around, and my laptop in front of me! Man it feels good.

So, well, lots of things have happened since the last time I blogged. {Which, even before that was becoming more and more sporadic.} We welcomed our third baby. THIRD. Lincoln William officially stole our hearts. We are a family of five. It’s insane. Sometimes it’s insane good. And other times it’s insane good. I seem to live in a constant state of “just on the edge of being overwhelmed.”

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I have the “holy crap I have a boy” realization multiple times a week. It’s STILL kind of unbelievable to me. No joke, the very first thing I said when the doctor put him on my chest after he was born was “HE REALLY IS A BOY!” I was smiling and may have shed a tear or two of joy. Speaking of birth. Yep, it happened. It was fast. Too fast for drugs. I have one thing to say about that: Freaking OUCH. Okay, I guess that’s two words, but whatever. He’s already two months old. Time is flying. Life is busy and homeboy is just along for the ride. He’s a pretty good sport, but definitely more opinionated than his sisters were at this age. He also things sleep is for losers compared to his sisters. I’m trying really hard not to compare him to his sisters so I stop living in a state of sleep disappointment.

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I’m back working two days a week and it’s fantastic. I missed it.  I’m happy to be back. It’s good for all of us. I’ll go back full time in January. I’m ready. Though, I do have to say, I have enjoyed my time home with Lincoln more so than my other two leaves.

Christmas music is currently filling my headphones. I’m very excited for the holidays this year. For the first year, Rylee was talking about our Advent Activity calendar long before December even started. I won’t lie, it made my heart really happy that I started a tradition that she now looks forward to every year.

Speaking of Rylee. Wow, this girl. I am LOVING school age. She’s having sleep overs with friends, she’s playing sports, she’s just generally pretty awesome. Sure, we still struggle with general sassiness (by we I mean her and me, she’s never like that with Andy), but she is growing such a fantastic little person. She is such a good help with Lincoln. Her sense of humor is on point. She works really hard in school, she is reading at a mid-year second grade level, AND Andy has been teaching her multiplication. Future engineer? Perhaps. Wouldn’t that be so awesome!?

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Reese is as fiery as ever. She is in full-on two year old mode, Lord help us. She loves her brother something fierce. Like, a little too rough kind of fierce. It’s sweet and scary all at the same time. Eating is still one of her favorite past times, but lately we’ve added dancing, reading books and playing baby doll to the line-up. She’s also becoming quite vocal and opinionated {and sometimes physical} regarding her sister. Good times. She constantly blows me away with different things…the way she memorizes songs, her proper use of the word “comfortable” and her love for caesar salad.

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Ok, I suppose I need to get back to it. These workflow emails won’t write themselves.

Yep, that definitely felt good.

I always have the best of intentions with this blog, but more often than not it goes on the back burner. For my own sake, I want to write more here. I don’t know when I’ll be back to blog again, but I do know I’m not ready to give up this space, my outlet, just yet.

Today…

Today is brought to you by the letters TGIM and the number 3.

TGIM…as in THANK GOODNESS IT’S MONDAY. Like for reals. This weekend mang. Andy was hard at work on the patio. It’s getting so close! Rylee’s pneumonia relapsed on Thursday so we spent the weekend trying to take it easy. Nope, no fireworks or BBQs for us this year. Reese is hitting the two’s like a champ and both the girls are all sorts of opinionated when it comes to what is “theirs” and how they feel about sharing and how things just aren’t fair. Exhausting, yo.

So yes, TGIM!

And the number 3…as in just spent a 3 day weekend essentially solo-parenting two kids with crazy cabin fever by the end of day 3. As in just looked at my pregnancy app and apparently there’s less than 3 months until baby #3 is due to arrive. Wait, what!? As in I’ve already had 3 cups of coffee today.

And as in…3 days until I kiss my family goodbye and head off to a long weekend with 3 of my best gals.

Pregnancy with a Side of Guilt

Finding out that you are unexpectedly pregnant when you’ve already decided you’re done is markedly different that unexpectedly getting pregnant with your first baby a year ahead of your desired timeline. It does weird things to your psyche.

Shouldn’t I be excited? Aren’t all babies supposed to be considered a blessing? Doesn’t this mean it was meant to be?

But, I wasn’t excited. Or even a little bit happy. I was convinced we were being punished for something… What lesson is God trying to teach us right now? Very funny God…you can make this joke stop any time now. Maybe if we don’t talk about it or tell anyone it will just go away…or I’ll just wake up from this bad dream?

Guilt.

And what about the girls? Rylee will have to start all over again. Will she resent me as she gets older? Will this baby hold her back from being able to do things? That’s not fair to her. And poor Reese…I had so much one-on-one time with Rylee when she was little, I was looking forward to having that time with Reese. Now it will have to be shared.

Guilt.

On top of that, I couldn’t help but think of my friends battling/struggling/coping with infertility. Here I am getting unexpectedly pregnant and just wanting it to be a bad dream while they’re living the opposite nightmare every day.

Guilt.

Then of course I felt awful for not feeling excited. Needless to say I was not in a good place those first few weeks. So many tears. The guilt was all consuming.

Thankfully the guilt surrounding everything has gone away. The excitement is building. And I know we’ll be just fine.

Little one…you need to know that just because you weren’t in our plans, you are meant to be and I am looking forward to having you in our family. xo, Mama

Random Thursday Night Ramblings

It’s not yet 8:30 and my teeth are brushed, face is washed, my pjs are on and I’m in bed. It’s not that I’m tired and ready for bed. I’m just too tired to do anything productive around the house. Reese is in bed and Andy and Rylee are still at some friends house that we had dinner at tonight so I’m enjoying the quiet with no tv on.

So I figured I’d grab the iPad and tap out a quick post until I was tired or Andy and Ry got home.

Earlier today I got an email from the Tball coordinator for Rylee’s school. This Tuesday is Tball skills assessment at 5:30 PM. They say it should last about an hour. It hit me at that point…we’re officially getting into what I have actively avoided all school year. Organized activities on a weeknight.

Ugh.

I feel like I barely have my shit together well enough on a good night to get the girls home before 6 PM and dinner on the table by 6:30 without getting completely overwhelmed by an amped up and sassy almost 6 year old and/or a whiney 20 month old that only wants to be held. How are we going to add in just one.more.thing. We’ll get it figured out, I’m just not looking forward to the learning curve.

I just realized today that the beginning of April is next week. Which means Easter is about three weeks away. Which means our second annual Easter egg hunt is about 3 weeks away. Last year we stuffed around 500 eggs for kids and adults. I need to start shopping and we need to get to stuffing! I suppose I should also get the evite sent out.

I also just realized today that earlier this month marked seven years of being on our property! What a crazy ride it’s been so far.

This weekend the girls and I are headed to a bridal shop with my sister and some of her other bridal party to pick out dresses for her wedding! We did gown shopping a couple of weeks ago. Fingers crossed Reese cooperates well enough and doesn’t terrorize the entire place.

Gosh it’s hard to come up with things to type out anymore…Andy and Ry still aren’t home, but I’m officially tired. So…happy Friday eve…here’s hoping Reese sleeps past 5 am tomorrow!