Category Archives: just writing

Today…

Today is brought to you by the letters TGIM and the number 3.

TGIM…as in THANK GOODNESS IT’S MONDAY. Like for reals. This weekend mang. Andy was hard at work on the patio. It’s getting so close! Rylee’s pneumonia relapsed on Thursday so we spent the weekend trying to take it easy. Nope, no fireworks or BBQs for us this year. Reese is hitting the two’s like a champ and both the girls are all sorts of opinionated when it comes to what is “theirs” and how they feel about sharing and how things just aren’t fair. Exhausting, yo.

So yes, TGIM!

And the number 3…as in just spent a 3 day weekend essentially solo-parenting two kids with crazy cabin fever by the end of day 3. As in just looked at my pregnancy app and apparently there’s less than 3 months until baby #3 is due to arrive. Wait, what!? As in I’ve already had 3 cups of coffee today.

And as in…3 days until I kiss my family goodbye and head off to a long weekend with 3 of my best gals.

Pregnancy with a Side of Guilt

Finding out that you are unexpectedly pregnant when you’ve already decided you’re done is markedly different that unexpectedly getting pregnant with your first baby a year ahead of your desired timeline. It does weird things to your psyche.

Shouldn’t I be excited? Aren’t all babies supposed to be considered a blessing? Doesn’t this mean it was meant to be?

But, I wasn’t excited. Or even a little bit happy. I was convinced we were being punished for something… What lesson is God trying to teach us right now? Very funny God…you can make this joke stop any time now. Maybe if we don’t talk about it or tell anyone it will just go away…or I’ll just wake up from this bad dream?

Guilt.

And what about the girls? Rylee will have to start all over again. Will she resent me as she gets older? Will this baby hold her back from being able to do things? That’s not fair to her. And poor Reese…I had so much one-on-one time with Rylee when she was little, I was looking forward to having that time with Reese. Now it will have to be shared.

Guilt.

On top of that, I couldn’t help but think of my friends battling/struggling/coping with infertility. Here I am getting unexpectedly pregnant and just wanting it to be a bad dream while they’re living the opposite nightmare every day.

Guilt.

Then of course I felt awful for not feeling excited. Needless to say I was not in a good place those first few weeks. So many tears. The guilt was all consuming.

Thankfully the guilt surrounding everything has gone away. The excitement is building. And I know we’ll be just fine.

Little one…you need to know that just because you weren’t in our plans, you are meant to be and I am looking forward to having you in our family. xo, Mama

Random Thursday Night Ramblings

It’s not yet 8:30 and my teeth are brushed, face is washed, my pjs are on and I’m in bed. It’s not that I’m tired and ready for bed. I’m just too tired to do anything productive around the house. Reese is in bed and Andy and Rylee are still at some friends house that we had dinner at tonight so I’m enjoying the quiet with no tv on.

So I figured I’d grab the iPad and tap out a quick post until I was tired or Andy and Ry got home.

Earlier today I got an email from the Tball coordinator for Rylee’s school. This Tuesday is Tball skills assessment at 5:30 PM. They say it should last about an hour. It hit me at that point…we’re officially getting into what I have actively avoided all school year. Organized activities on a weeknight.

Ugh.

I feel like I barely have my shit together well enough on a good night to get the girls home before 6 PM and dinner on the table by 6:30 without getting completely overwhelmed by an amped up and sassy almost 6 year old and/or a whiney 20 month old that only wants to be held. How are we going to add in just one.more.thing. We’ll get it figured out, I’m just not looking forward to the learning curve.

I just realized today that the beginning of April is next week. Which means Easter is about three weeks away. Which means our second annual Easter egg hunt is about 3 weeks away. Last year we stuffed around 500 eggs for kids and adults. I need to start shopping and we need to get to stuffing! I suppose I should also get the evite sent out.

I also just realized today that earlier this month marked seven years of being on our property! What a crazy ride it’s been so far.

This weekend the girls and I are headed to a bridal shop with my sister and some of her other bridal party to pick out dresses for her wedding! We did gown shopping a couple of weeks ago. Fingers crossed Reese cooperates well enough and doesn’t terrorize the entire place.

Gosh it’s hard to come up with things to type out anymore…Andy and Ry still aren’t home, but I’m officially tired. So…happy Friday eve…here’s hoping Reese sleeps past 5 am tomorrow!

I was afraid this would happen…

I don’t even know where to start with this.

Hai. Hello.

Clearly it’s been a while. And you know what? I’m not really that sad about it. Maybe that’s a sign?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that my new job is pretty dang awesome. I really do love it. But I’m literally glued to my computer/social media all day {no really, I literally have Gunnar glasses – computer glasses for techies} so at the end of the day, I don’t really feel like doing that any more. Plus the whole, having time to blog at night? Ha. HAHAHAHHA. Yea right.

I don’t bring my own computer to work anymore…which is fantastic for my neck & shoulders, but again, kind of inhibits the whole “keeping up on blogging” thing.

So I’m really enjoying my time away from my phone and computer when I’m at home with the fam…ok, total honesty here, maybe not ALL of my time becauseOMGthewhining!

Life is moving right along…let’s see…

Rylee is kicking ace in school. She recently had a reading challenge, Kinders’ goal was 150 minutes in 13 days…Ry blew it out of the water reading over 280 minutes! She lost her second tooth. We’ve signed her up for T-ball. She got her first pedicure.

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Reese is as feisty as ever. She’s saying more and more words. She’s still all about the ear tugging when she’s tired but she hates snuggling/rocking at bedtime. She’s starting to show interest in potty training {WOOT!}. And she still out-eats her big sister most nights.

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Andy is officially on spring break starting today! The guy totally deserves a break but he’ll be busy with all the springtime property work like pruning, wood splitting, mowing, working on the chicken coop, etc etc etc. When he’s not working outside, he’s raging war against the random ants that have decided to show up and various places in our house.

The sun has been shining and the longer nights means we’ve been spending more time outside. Also known as: country living perfection.

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And so the cycle goes.

To quote the Lego movie… everything is awesome!

Heads up though? No promises I’ll be back on any consistent basis.