All I can give her

by katherine on February 12, 2013

After spending over two hours at the doctor office today and finding out that Rylee has RSV and the beginning stages of pneumonia, I couldn’t help but think about my phone call with the triage nurse this morning. Borderline cynical, asking if I needed to even bother bringing her in or if they’d just send us home with nothing they could do.

Throughout our appointment I was asked questions and couldn’t help but feel inadequate when I gave my answers…did she have the flu shot? No. Did we give her the inhaler at all when she was having trouble breathing? To be honest, I forgot we had it. When did first start having trouble breathing? I’m not sure exactly…this morning? So when did she first get her fever? Well, she had one a couple of weeks ago, and that’s when her cough first started…

I listened to my intuition this time and made the call to take her in. But what if I would have called earlier…would we even be dealing with this right now?

She’s lying on the couch, absolutely miserable. Her fever was so high earlier, she was seeing “flashing spots” every time she closed her eyes. All she’s had to eat since Sunday afternoon is a few bites of bagel, a little bit of yogurt, some pears and some pasta. The only thing she’s had today is two blue otter pops.

It breaks my heart to see my babies hurting. To see them helpless.

Sometimes I wonder what the heck I’m doing. Am I making the right decision?

Parenting is easy when you’re speaking in hindsight. When you’re in the moment, you’re just doing your best.

And I need to remember that my best is all I can give her.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Nanette February 13, 2013 at 1:01 am

Parenting is a tough gig, but take comfort in knowing that you're doing the best you can.

Sending lots of healthy thoughts Rylee's way. xoxo

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2 Erin February 13, 2013 at 1:38 pm

What a cool picture in the bath.

I know those questions all too well, the ones that make you feel like a horrible mother, even though you obviously always have the best of intentions! It's so hard to see your babies sick. Hope she's feeling better!!

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