Category Archives: mom fail

On Being Stabby

Yesterday? Yesterday was a frustrating day. It was the culmination of: Christmas decorations are half down/kitchen is half clean/I leave for a major tradeshow in 2 days/product launch/website launch. Stress-ful.

And all the stress got to me. Bad.

I started writing a blog post in my head and it was going to be a list of all the things that make me stabby. Like…

WalMart.
WalMart during the first weekend of the month.
Multiple days of 20 degree weather.
A dirty kitchen.
Cold coffee.
Slow Internet connections.
The inability for people to focus when shit needs to get done.
People who don’t use their blinkers.
People who don’t turn of their brights when they are coming straight toward you.
Late dinners.
Overflowing trash.
Little microscopic holes in your trash bags (aka plastic grocery bags) that make a huge, sloppy coffee ground mess in the bottom of your trash can.

You get the idea…random, trivial crap.

After the fire was roaring and dinner was done, we settled into our typical evening routine and all of the stress of the day just seemed to melt away. Then, instead of the “stabby” list I was writing on my way home, I started thinking of a different list. Things that make me not stabby. Like…

A warm fire in our wood stove.
Toddler hugs.
Taking out the trash, looking up and seeing billions of beautiful stars in the sky.
Walking back into a nice, warm house.
Hearing all sorts of giggles and laughter coming from the bathroom during bathtime.
Big, toothy two-year old grins.

Also? Monster Beards and Daddy Beards.

I mean really…how could I be grumpy after this?

It’s imposible.

Let’s Talk About That Magical Switch

True Story: When I met Rylee and Andy at the mall on Monday for her first-ever Santa meeting, she had the charm turned on. She was a perfect angel. After the Santa meet-up, we wanted to grab some lunch. As we headed to the mall food court, Ry politely asked for a grilled cheese sandwich: “Rylee want a grilled cheese sanich…heeese?”. Well, in our mall food court, there are seriously NO kid-friendly eateries. So we decided we’d spend the extra time an the extra money and go to the Chili’s in the mall…you know, so Ry could have her grilled cheese.

Chili’s was busy. Really busy.

My child? Was a perfect angel.

I’m not even kidding. She ordered her own lunch. Opting for the “tay-sa-dee-a” instead of the grilled cheese. She ordered her own beverage “Rylee need milk, heeese?”Upon arrival of both the milk and quesadilla she loudly proclaimed “Hank You”.

While we waited, we colored her menu, we wrote names of our family and spelled them out, we quietly sang the ABC’s, we played I Spy.

I heard our waiter, on more than one occasion, say things under his breath like “That’s so cute”. He even commented to another waiter how awesome Rylee was. As we were leaving? He made a point to stop Andy and tell him how adorable Rylee was.

You guys? I’m not going to lie to you…I was completely shocked. Now, before you try to tell me that of course Rylee was great, she’s a great little kid, she’s an angel, blah, blah, blah…let me paint a picture of the night before…

My child was a monster. Not the cute little monster for which she got her nickname. There was nothing cute about Sunday night. She all out grew horns and was letting Andy and me know it. She wouldn’t listen. She was throwing fits. She was kicking. She was screaming. She was throwing things. It was ugly.

It got so bad at one point, that Andy could clearly see the frustration and outright anger in my face and decided it was time to step in. I seriously, seriously contemplated whether or not my child was “ready” to be spanked. And not because I thought it would be the right way to discipline her, but because I was angry. When Andy stepped in, I gladly walked away. I walked into my dark, quiet bedroom and sat down on the end of my bed. And just sat there.

The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. Andy helped Ry get her jammies on and she came out of her bedroom looking for me. She snuggled up to me and we read books. I took her to bed. And that was that.

Now, I ask you…where is that magical switch? It’s gotta be somewhere…Rylee clearly knows where it is on her and me.

It wasn’t me

As my Monday flew by I couldn’t help but think I should blog today…but what about? Then, I read my friend Karey’s blog and made me crack up. And it inspired me.

Yes, that’s it. We’ll call it inspiration. That sounds much better than flat stealing her ideas. :)

To start things off the right way…I totally didn’t read a friends blog and use the idea of her blog post to write my own.

It was not me that “made” cheap hotdogs, frozen french fries and leftover microwave mac-n-cheese for dinner for my 2 year old daughter and me tonight.

And I definitely didn’t move her highchair around so that she could watch the rest of her Dora video that I had turned on to “make” dinner.

Oh, and I didn’t cave and let her have any ice cream after I told her that if she got down from her seat she couldn’t and she quickly and sweetly replied that she was “getting down to help me”.

And no way did I drizzle chocolate syrup all over my bowl of ice cream.

Oh and on Saturday, it didn’t take me almost all of Rylee’s 2 hour nap to fold all of the clothes that were piled up on the guest bed.

And those clothes are not still sitting in a basket on the floor in that same room. Nope.

Most certainly not me.

What happens to owies and taco eating horses.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been noticing my lack of posts. There’s a funny little thing about life…it never slows down when you want it to. Between Andy being back in school and working long hours, my work picking up and Rylee being a little 2 year old monster, I’m…tired. And to be perfectly honest, I can have the best of intentions to sit down and blog after Ry goes to bed but on those night she’s being a challenge, the last thing I want to do after she’s put me at my wit’s end is blog about how cute she is. In fact, I really don’t even want to think about her after a night like that. All I want to do is go to bed. Or drink. And sleeping is less expensive. And now that I’ve written that, I kind of feel like an ill-equipped, bad mom. I know the “terrible twos” are a phase and ever kid goes through them. But, wow. That’s all I have to say about that right now.

Moving on…

Rylee has been talking more and more. More often than not, when we ride in the car we don’t even have the radio on because she’s chatting away in the back seat. With her talking more and her mind working in new ways there have been some cute and/or funny things coming out of her mouth…

Example A:
While driving home one night after picking Rylee up from daycare she notices the horses grazing in the field on our road. She yells “HORSES!…sree (three) horses!”
To which I reply with “Yes, Ry! Very good. Three horeses. What are the horses doing?”
She says “Eating dinner”
So I say, “What are they eating?”
“Uhhh…TACOS!”
So, in case you didn’t know, horses eat tacos.

Example B: 
Friday night after dinner I asked Rylee if she would like to help me get my stuff ready to go hunting the next morning. She loves to help, so she says yes. As we’re taking my pack out to the living room she asks,”Mama, I go hunting too?”
I say, “No Ry not this time. Maybe you can come hunting next time.”
She says, “Ok. I bring my blanket.”
Because, you know, a silky pink blanket is an essential when hunting deer.

Example C:
I took Ry to the specialist to have her acid reflux check-up. Since we were there I had them give her a flu shot. She cried. A lot. But, she got a sticker and a sucker. She kept calling the sucker a popscicle. She’d never had a sucker before. In the jeep on the way to Papa’s house she kept yelling, “I GOT SHOT! I GOT SHOT!”

Example D:
She got a paper cut on her thumb recently. I kept a band-aid on it here and there…mostly when she remembered about the cut and asked for one. Suddenly one day she looked at her thumb and noticed it was gone. “Where my owie go!?”
“Oh Ry, you’re owie is all better now and it went away.”
“Where it go?”
“It just went away honey, that’s what oweis do when they are all better.”
“Oh. My owie went home?”
“Yes Ry, your owie went home.”
“Okay”

I know there’s more things she’s been saying lately but I can’t remember right now. I’ve actually been writing them down so I can remember to blog about them. I also need to update you guys on my first ever attempt at a french braid. I swear they should give lessons to pregnant mothers expecting girls. This crap is hard.

Oh, and one more piece of business before I go. Our friends over at Top Baby Blogs have reset the voting. That means I need your help to get back up there. I was holding strong on page 4. Can you help me get back there? All you have to do is click on the banner link below. It will take you to a page that says: “Cast a vote for your favorite baby blog”. Just click on that link and you are all done! If you feel like it, you can click on the button link I have over there —> each time you visit. Well, once a day actually.

Click To Vote For Us @ the Top Baby Blogs Directory! The most popular baby blogs

Ok. That’s it. That’s all. I promise I will try and be better about keeping up on the blog!

A sign of things to come?

Perhaps she has maybe, possibly inherited her mama’s Type-A tendencies? –OR– Perhaps she is simply a genius in the making. Yes, that’s it…a future genius.